After 'My 13 Month Shift Into 2013', I found myself in a place where I no longer cared about my stuff... or what people thought... or what I had... or what people might say. I released: my home, my friends, my family, my stuff, my life, even my name. I closed my eyes, and with my 3 children, I stepped away from EVERYthing I knew. I threw it ALL up in the air, and gently held faith that everything would land softly as it should. At that moment, time paused... and like a sonic boom to the heavens, I felt my life shift. For so many reasons, it was an awaking. For so many reasons, it was well overdo for me to leave the life I knew and the home I called Odonata. For so many reasons I needed everything to change. Mentally, physically and spiritually, I felt pushed out of the life I knew.
Every morning, I got down on my knees and I thanked God for the things I wanted to come into my life (as if they had already happened). I was thankful for a job I didn't have, a partner I didn't know existed, a love I couldn't fathom, a home I had never seen before, and a life that was foreign to me. I focused every day on how I wanted my life to feel: abundant, secure, full of love, peaceful, CALM.
We are energy. We are thoughts. Our lives are series of events that lead to series of similar events. These cyclic events can pertain to a time period, a lifetime or even generations. Anxiety and chaos can be learned behaviors.
When I was a little girl, I would have these episodes where everything would speed up- like a movie on fast forward. I would smell a particular smell and experience a particular feeling. Tachysensia. I think this and slider experiences are heightened when anxiety runs high.
First, I needed a new job: I got a job at Trader Joe's where I could spend my days surrounded by healthy food and happy people. This quickly became a place where I felt safe, loved and appreciated. I remember telling people "I will find family here, I can feel it!". I remember meeting my boss Terry, in the frozen aisle of Trader Joe's. He would always whistle little tunes as he stocked food. He was always happy! Terry and I became friends (we would high five each other that we would never get married again). Within 6 months, that friendship grew into something so much more than I could ever imagine. Yes, I did find family there. Needing a better schedule and more money, I was able to transition from Trader Joe's into a teaching job, where I could be on the same schedule as my children. Then somehow, even though I was denied hardship, my children got an exception and were able to attend the school I taught at in Roswell.
Second, I needed a new me. I went down to the courthouse and legally changed my name. I needed to take ownership of my life, and this was a symbol of that. I wanted Grace in my life, so for $249.00, I legally changed my middle name to Grace.
Third, I needed a new outlook. I realized that it is never too late to create the life you want. People are not always going to understand you... and they don't have to. Realizing that is huge. No one knows what you're going through. No one has walked your path. No one knows your battles.
Fourth, I needed an new home. With once a month pay, it would be 2 months before my first teaching paycheck. With no money, and only 3 weeks to plan a move, I was able to move myself and my three children into a rental home. 2 months later, Terry and I drove past a beautiful home in our favorite town, less than a mile from the school I worked at. On a whim, we stopped for the open house. Instantly I felt HOME. I printed a picture of the home we called 'The Farmhouse', and every single day I pictured us living there. Every day we lit a candle, looked at the picture and said, "Thank you, for this home". The following month we moved in. This was the second time in four months, I moved myself, my children and all of our stuff.. When we closed on the house, the Realtor told me, "Evera, I have never in my life seen a person get a home on PURE WILL!" The miracles needed to happen to order for us to get into this home were plentiful.
Terry and I married, in a private ceremony, facing North, in our beautiful new home. The singing bowls rang and happiness tears fell. If you told me three years ago that I would have a completely different life, that my children would be happy and secure. That I would laugh every day... that I would share my life with a man who I have never heard raise his voice... That I would begin to release anxiety I had experienced my entire life... that my feet would step foot onto hardwood floors every morning in my own home......... I wouldn't have believed it possible. Look for miracles and you will surely find some!
So, that is the update to ''13 Things I've Learned During My 13 Month Shift Into 2013'.
~Evera Grace
Every morning, I got down on my knees and I thanked God for the things I wanted to come into my life (as if they had already happened). I was thankful for a job I didn't have, a partner I didn't know existed, a love I couldn't fathom, a home I had never seen before, and a life that was foreign to me. I focused every day on how I wanted my life to feel: abundant, secure, full of love, peaceful, CALM.
We are energy. We are thoughts. Our lives are series of events that lead to series of similar events. These cyclic events can pertain to a time period, a lifetime or even generations. Anxiety and chaos can be learned behaviors.
When I was a little girl, I would have these episodes where everything would speed up- like a movie on fast forward. I would smell a particular smell and experience a particular feeling. Tachysensia. I think this and slider experiences are heightened when anxiety runs high.
A New Rhythm.
First, I needed a new job: I got a job at Trader Joe's where I could spend my days surrounded by healthy food and happy people. This quickly became a place where I felt safe, loved and appreciated. I remember telling people "I will find family here, I can feel it!". I remember meeting my boss Terry, in the frozen aisle of Trader Joe's. He would always whistle little tunes as he stocked food. He was always happy! Terry and I became friends (we would high five each other that we would never get married again). Within 6 months, that friendship grew into something so much more than I could ever imagine. Yes, I did find family there. Needing a better schedule and more money, I was able to transition from Trader Joe's into a teaching job, where I could be on the same schedule as my children. Then somehow, even though I was denied hardship, my children got an exception and were able to attend the school I taught at in Roswell.
Third, I needed a new outlook. I realized that it is never too late to create the life you want. People are not always going to understand you... and they don't have to. Realizing that is huge. No one knows what you're going through. No one has walked your path. No one knows your battles.
Fourth, I needed an new home. With once a month pay, it would be 2 months before my first teaching paycheck. With no money, and only 3 weeks to plan a move, I was able to move myself and my three children into a rental home. 2 months later, Terry and I drove past a beautiful home in our favorite town, less than a mile from the school I worked at. On a whim, we stopped for the open house. Instantly I felt HOME. I printed a picture of the home we called 'The Farmhouse', and every single day I pictured us living there. Every day we lit a candle, looked at the picture and said, "Thank you, for this home". The following month we moved in. This was the second time in four months, I moved myself, my children and all of our stuff.. When we closed on the house, the Realtor told me, "Evera, I have never in my life seen a person get a home on PURE WILL!" The miracles needed to happen to order for us to get into this home were plentiful.
Slowly fear turned to faith, chaos turned to stability. All began to CALM. Laughter, joy and happiness became abundant. It seemed as though, every parking spot open was the first one in front, every scratch off ticket was a winner, every "hey, how about.......", came to fruition. I don't think I have ever laughed so much in my life!! The air seemed softer and sweeter somehow.
A happy home. A best friend. Tantric love. A ring.
Terry and I married, in a private ceremony, facing North, in our beautiful new home. The singing bowls rang and happiness tears fell. If you told me three years ago that I would have a completely different life, that my children would be happy and secure. That I would laugh every day... that I would share my life with a man who I have never heard raise his voice... That I would begin to release anxiety I had experienced my entire life... that my feet would step foot onto hardwood floors every morning in my own home......... I wouldn't have believed it possible. Look for miracles and you will surely find some!
And everything landed softly as it should.
So, that is the update to ''13 Things I've Learned During My 13 Month Shift Into 2013'.
~Evera Grace
Click to listen to one of the most beautiful and inspirational songs I've ever heard.
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
